The Socially Awkward Extrovert

After being away from the safe haven of my home and family for nearly five days while I attended a writer's conference, I learned a lot about myself. I'm a strange one and that's okay. I'm extremely shy. At times almost crippling. But I'm an extrovert! I love people. I love to hangout, go places, do things, and surprisingly I love to talk.

But when a person is crippled by shyness and is an extrovert she is spent by the end of the five days.

Why? Wasn't I around people all weekend?

Yes!!! You'd think I'd be pumped and ready to keep going. But no, like an introvert forcing themselves to talk to people for five days, I do the opposite of what you'd think of an extrovert. I retreat inward and have a hard time opening up to new people especially if everyone around me already knows each other and I'm odd man out.

My silence got to me a few times this week and I broke down. I despise being this socially awkward when all I want to be is the life of the party, hamming it up like the best of them. But I know I don't have to perform for anyone. And I am not someone who puts on a show or acts like I'm not ... other than ... I keep myself hidden from the world because I'm petrified. By the time I got home all I wanted to do was be around my husband and kids who will let me talk and talk as much as I need to and to my husband who continued to take care of things because the stress of the week brought on a headache.

Thank you to all those out there who know this shy extrovert and have taken the time I've needed to get to know me so you can see this silly girl who actually does speak from time to time.

Disclaimer: I will always talk and be friendly to anyone who needs an ear or starts the conversation. Like I said I love people.